Calling all sensitive, creative, empathic folks...this message is for you!
Do you feel other people’s emotions deeply? Are you the friend people come to for life advice? Do you often find yourself feeling drained after feeling all of the aforementioned? Well then, you may fall into the category I loosely call empathic, which can also include the highly sensitive and introverted.
I’ve been hearing the call to share some of my insights in life as an empath, sensitive person and overall, ooey gooey feeler. I’ve set in place protective mechanisms so that I can honor my unique skills and talents while honoring the gifts of those surrounding me.
Yoga and meditation help me set better energetic boundaries and modern technology gives me an outlet for my creative expression so I can share this gift. Empathy is a gift. Harness your empathy. It’s not your job to feel or process for another person unless it’s in a healing relationship. And here are some tips that have helped me stay more contained and connected to my own subtle energy so that it’s not just spilling all over the place.
1. Have a daily practice of SOMETHING! If you identify with any of what I’m saying, then you need some sort of daily check in that deeply resonates with you. For me it’s writing and journaling and some sort of quiet meditation where I can reflect on what’s processing through me. Maybe it’s a prayer, maybe it’s a wish, maybe you draw an angel card, maybe you draw a picture, maybe you chant, maybe you dance, maybe you affirm, maybe you hug. Do something that is your unique touchstone that keeps you sane....cause a lot of people need a lot of help and that can drive an empath insane.
2. Watch out for those who drain you....and how you may be addicted to being drained. Now, since you’re an empath you may stick up for these folks and I did for a long time. I said, “I’m not going to form a shield around myself, I’m going to have compassion and share my space to whomever I come across.” Okay, I’ve tried that even with clear boundaries and some people don’t know they are getting high off your energy, but they are. Notice who these people are and keep conversation light.
When they want to go deeper, notice that and don’t be their therapist, healer, or teacher. Just be you and go to humor. If they truly want to heal, tell them what you do and the context that is comfortable for you to share your healing gifts. When a conversation gets real intense I say, “if you want to schedule a private session, I’m available.”
And this is why....I wouldn’t be writing to you if I were by the river right now talking something out with someone who doesn’t want help. It’s a heart chakra thing....we often give to those who aren’t really open to it rather than cultivating and sharing with open ears. Are you hearin’ me? Try this for a week and notice folks saying things like, ‘you don’t seem as open or giving as usual.’ They are saying, “Give me what I want, I’m not getting high off you like usual.” Encourage them to develop their own meditation and coping techniques but don’t use your personal energy to heal.
3. Identify relationships that energize you. Gravitate toward those people. You choose your own company. Choose the company that uplifts and exalts, not doubts or scepticizes. This is not worth your time or your precious gift.
4. When you are in the position of healer, teacher, artist, or giver in the appropriate environment where you are receiving energy exchange for your gifts, then OWN IT and don’t hold back. You have a unique gift, so don’t let other people’s rules, lineage restrictions, or stiff methods hold you back from doing what you came here to do - help the people who show up to receive help and support.
5. Don’t be afraid to explain your gift to someone who is curious. I’ve heard empaths say that their significant other or friends won’t understand if they reveal their way of thinking or feeling.
Here’s what I think: When you decide to open up to a new friend or someone you are dating and they diminish, joke, or mock your gift, then you really won’t be able to fully open up to them...and that’s okay, just know the space. Know your boundaries.
But if you explain how you think and feel in the world and that person leans in, wanting to know more, wanting to understand, then they are keepers. Keep them close. Surround yourself with people who trust your gifts. This is so important for an empath.
6. Techniques such as yoga, meditation and other healing modalities often increase your sensitivity. After an intense session, workshop or training, have a plan in place to support integration such as daily journaling, meditation, or breathing exercise.
7. Empaths need plenty of rest and plenty of alone time. Don’t feel obligated to be social when you need to touch in with yourself. This is your soul nourishment. Don’t skip it.
The most important takeaway from this message is to honor what you feel but at the same time let go of the need to help when it’s not in your energetic interest. A lot of sensitive people feel comfortable only when they are in the position of the healer because they’re used to occupying that role in people’s lives.
Yet empaths are most brilliant when healing is in the appropriate context, i.e. you are offered some sort of energy in exchange for your gifts. The exchange on the other person’s part doesn’t necessarily look like money....it could show up as a willingness to receive and listen to your message. I’ve been energized by another person who was open to listening to my insights and drained by one who shuts down my suggestions. There’s nothing more draining to an empath than offering their time to an energy vacuum that has no intention to shift, change or grow.
I’m attaching a meditation for protection to practice daily to stay clear. Next week, I’ll share a meditation for clearing the days energy to practice in the evening. Play with some of these techniques and modify as needed. Practice what resonates with you and let go of the rest. Most importantly....BE YOU!
Your friend on the path,
Hi! I'm Robin - Teacher, Singer, & Author. I love creativity & sharing what I love!